There
were billions of people in the planet. Every day, as we do the activities of
our daily living, we see different kinds of persons like those we bump in the
train as we go to work, vendors in the sidewalks, and party people in the bar
or those souls in the cyberworld aiming to fulfil their thirsty hearts in
search for companions or future partners. In every, they say someone
will come someday who will capture our hearts, the person whom we will feel
that very complex emotion caused by attraction and chemical reactions, could bring
us in the state of euphoria and intense pains as well; that thing we call love.
The
questions are: Do we have the choice to choose who? Is there a right love for
all of us? Could we stop love from happening from the beginning? Indeed, love
is mysterious, we will never know when, where or who. Having a heartbreak is not a joke. It may
come into a scenario when we are not prepared. Many stumble, fall into a deep
black hole of emptiness or the worse, depression.
First
Question: “Do we have the choice to choose who to love?”
My answer to this is a big “NO”. As a Bisexual, love does have no label. You could say that you were raised into a very philosophic, religious environment with teachings of the ideal and morally right way to love but never could you predict who you are going to be attracted in the future.
In
another scenario, we can choose to learn to love somebody but we could not
really stop our hearts from feeling that intense emotion for someone. Believe
me, not all marriages are perfect. Once you have met your true love, time and
situations might separate you apart, but for a lifetime that one person will
remain inside you.
Is
there an ideal person? As someone who is single, once in our lives we create
these hopes of an ideal partner we were praying for every single night. Some
pray for a prince charming, which will make them feel like a princess. Others wish
for someone compatible with their mental capabilities and passions. As for
myself, I always pray for someone who is passionate as me in terms of my
hobbies and interests. Like “Lord, bigyan mo naman ako ng partner na mahilig
magsulat o yung may alam sa photography. Ok din yung mahilig mag travel, kahit
hindi ganun ka-attractive pwede na sa akin basta matalino.” In reality, love is a feeling we will just
feel no matter who the person is. Believe me, even the ugliest person in the world,
if that emotional reaction will come, we could never stop it.
Third,
the most complicated one: Can we not feel love for a person who is in a relationship
or married? They say love is a choice but really? Some of us right now condemn
people who choose to have relationship with taken ones. We often judge affairs
and other women without looking at their scenarios. Not all of us are the same.
Some are so weak enough to run away from love. When you are in love, nothing is
right or wrong; sometimes we will do everything, never mind the dangers, the
people for the person we love. At times, we have no choice, love came and
conquered us.
Second
Question: Is there a right love for all of us?
My
answer is YES. That so-called “right love” is not someone who checks us 24/7, neither
the one who could give us the moon and stars nor the one who could cross the
seven seas for us. The right love is the person we feel complete with. He is
the person that could make us feel secured, happy and contented without doubts.
The person is right when we see ourselves fulfilled by his presence, by that we
would not look away no matter what happens and when we do, either not by
choice, should we question ourselves “Is this still right?”. Love is right when
you see yourself with that person in the future, no one else.
Third
Question: Could we stop love from happening in the beginning?
NO.
Well, I charge it to experience. No matter how you condition yourself and say “Hindi
ako maiinlove. No way.” It will come to
you like a thief in the night, then you will wake up one day, your heart is
beating fast and you are lost. No matter how you say to yourself that you are
not ready or hard hearted, if it will come, it will.
We
never could control love. All we can do is handle it in a way that we won’t let
it consume us, change us or make us attached from our selves. Loving someone
would bring us happiness and inevitably, heartaches as well. In the end of the
day, we have the choice what to do to manage ourselves. Not all love does have
happy endings but I believe that verse in 1 Corinthians 13:8 “Love never fails.”
We may not end to be together with the one we love with that once in a lifetime
person, whom will be I our hearts for a lifetime, but true love won’t ever fail
and if it does, it is not love at all.
If
ever you are in a situation where you feel broken or being bugged by an
unexpected love, just always remember that God put us where we are now because
He has a purpose. We may never know it by now, but I do believe someday, in the
right time and place, He will. He gave us these people we love for a certain
purpose. Heartbreaks are inescapable, but prayers help. Surrendering our hearts
and the future to God is the best thing to do. Lately, someone told me “Why does fate give us these people? There is probably a reason.” Being lost and confused
are normal, what I have learned today is that you should understand that not
all things go in perfect place we want them to be but we could create our own place where things may go well because we value them. These people who came by were
blessings, no matter how they came from or who they are. Their status or situations
should not hinder us to know and feel the love we have for them. There goes
that old saying by Alfred Tennyson “Better to have loved than never have loved
at all.”
-faf
