As human beings, each one of us experienced romantic love, a
love felt for a certain special person of the opposite sex or even the same
with attraction and inexplicable reasons. There are sub feelings relating into
it, the main one is the happiness. Whenever we are with our special someone, we
feel secured, happy, excited, twisted, and even his/her slightest look could
make us berserk. But not all love stories are requited and blissful at all. In
reality, people with mutual love for each other are very lucky but how about
those whom experiencing one-sided love, breakups, death or loss of a partner?
To feel love is to endure also the pain. They said that love was not true if
you do not feel any pain relating to it. Some pain could last an amount of time
but some strong people cope up and move on easily, I could say it depends on
the psychological strength of a person.
How to overcome bitterness when you are stagnant and feels
like you can’t even know how to stop yourself from feeling the pain?
Here are some of my personal tips:
1. Talk to God and reflect on His words. Praying might sound
boring for some modern day youth but it is God who knows the real purpose of
the pain and if you communicate with Him, your burdens will lessen. He knows
what is best for us. Reading the scriptures could also help. Whatever religion
or faith each of one does have, for sure our sacred books contain texts related
to love and moving forward, we just have to keep them by heart.
2. Make yourself busy. Being busy with things you like or
would like could help lessen excessive thinking that could make you unmoved
with those heavy emotions. Putting up your mindset into useful channels could
also make you productive as well. Doing simple household chores, going out with
friends or grooming a pet are examples.
3. Try something new. New things would also make you forget
painful things little by little as you began to explore the world around you.
Having a new look and hairdo, new book to read and new hobbies are such good examples.
The world is so huge and life is short, there are no reasons not to explore and
enjoy.
4. Write. Not all of us loves pen and paper or blogging but
whenever you're stressed or have no one to talk to, you can have your own diary
to open up all unwanted emotions you feel or at least make a blog post of a
poem or essay but be sure to take care whenever you post something personal on
the internet. One day, when you have already recovered, read them again and
definitely, you will smile or laugh.
5. Meet new people. There are millions of fishes in the sea,
so why focus on one that is already caught, dead or swam away? Making new
friends makes you feel comfortable and have fun. There are online dating sites
out there or even friends of friends, you can meet people whom you have similar
interests with like in a book club if you love books or fans club if you were
having the same favorite celebrities. Organizations for a cause also provides
more exposure to different people. Please do beware or take care because we do
not know them so we have to secure ourselves in meeting new friends.
6. Forget the past and cherish the present. It is true that
forgetting painful heartaches takes a lot of time but we have to let go even
those good memories associated with them if they would just make us feel
unhappy knowing the reality that they would never ever be the same again or
come back. If we live in the shadows of the past, our lives will not move
forward causing our lives to be dull and chained. We should make the best our
present lives because our future would depend on what we do today.
7. Forgive someone who caused you pain as well as yourself.
In forgiving someone, you are also releasing your inner conflicts with
yourself. Anger is unhealthy and would cause us to be bitter, hate the world
and not trust other people. We live in an imperfect world; we may never fully
forget what they have done, at least in our hearts, all that hatred will be washed
away. Forgiving ourselves is also fundamental in a sense that how could be
forgive the person, the situation if we cannot forgive our own selves? There
are plenty of time to start again and to become stronger and wiser, we just
have to think that things have already happened and we cannot go back to that
time and situation anymore. -faf