Walking in the Rain (A Poem)

 

Walking in the Rain 

-Flordeliz Fullo 

 

Walking on my way home with a lingering heaviness in my heart; 

This gnawing pain that I had since the day I fell in love in the dark. 

Throughout uncertainty and confusion as the raindrops fell; 

They sting like needles pricking me in this never-ending spell. 

 

My eyes were once windows of endless passion and dreams so pure; 

Are now globes dripped with salty flowing tears that never endure. 

The reminiscence of a mysterious power that led me to despair; 

Your name is the rain that persecutes my emotions out of thin air. 

 

The coldness of the strong winds makes my delicate soul shiver; 

I still choose to saunter with this deep agony I cannot deter. 

To bathe in anguish within my being as I suffer in this misery; 

Searching for my lost childlike affections gifted with sincere amity. 

 

I am lost in the middle of nowhere asking myself what did I do wrong? 

Why do my unconditional love for you and harmony could not get along? 

In those countless of times, I gave my all to be with the one I so adore. 

At the end of it all, I let my emotions for you wreck me to the core. 

 

I stand while the rain poured down on me to let it wash away everything; 

The melancholy engulfed in the affliction of my deepest regrets. 

Weeping in the darkness of the clouds with voiceless screaming; 

In the sorrowful sound of ripples on the ground it all shall rest. 

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Flood in a Lifetime By: Jonas Hapinat

A Guest Blog by Mr. Jonas A. Hapinat

Can it be the worst year ever? People were flabbergasted with unexpected turns of events which wreaked havoc to the human civilization. This has been the year which hope is far from reach and disasters are agonizing the lives of every individual whose lives are already miserable--but made more miserable instead.

I was clueless at first, I never thought that something terrifying is meant to come my way. I have grown too complacent of the things that I thought is impossible of happening. As the flood submerged our houses in a knee-high level and it continuously increases in a short-period of time, I was left wondering in fear. Are we hounded by nightmares? That in every month of this year is the prevalence of different suffering which draws tears among our countrymen.

It was 12 midnight when I was startled by mother's panicking voice. She spoke a thunderous voice which lingers upon my ears until now. "The water is here," she shouted with an echoing blast, but behind the loudness is the sound of a mother being terrified of her children's safety. We hurriedly packed our clothes and brought the necessary things above the drawer where the water might not able to reach it.

The entire neighborhood is engulfed with the spirit of 'bayanihan' as everyone extended their hands in carrying each other's refrigerators, televisions and other electronic appliances. We carefully watched the water submerging the floors of our houses into a pool of mud and dirt. When the water reached a knee-high level, we evacuated immediately into my aunt' house, as their house is built significantly higher than the average houses in our neighbourhood. It was in the afternoon that we realized that the water is not yet subsiding, forcing us to evacuate immediately into a 2-storey building where we can have a peace of mind while sleeping the night away.

In the evening, I was forced to sleep in the rooftop, alongside with my cousins, for the 2nd storey house of my aunt is over-occupied by children and aged people. The electricity was shut down and the only source of light we had is the candle that brightened the dimming hope of the quiet night. I run out of battery so I borrowed the phone of my cousin to browse the Internet and update myself with the current situation of my town. It was heartbreaking to see people from different places in Cagayan Valley who were asking for immediate rescue after getting stucked on their rooftops without nothing to eat and drink. I thought that our situation is no better compared to others, but I was wrong, we are much better than them.

It was in the night that a surreal moment in my life happened in the midst of a disaster. I was sleeping with the stars, carefully watching them one by one. I can see them twinkling from up above, telling me that at the hour of darkness, there is a ray of light. I felt like I was in the middle of the universe. As I closed my eyes, I can see them sparkle with glittering hope and resiliency.

It was a flood in a lifetime, a moment that I will remember forever.

- Jonas Hapinat

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HEARTBREAK AND HEALING

To be healed from the blow of a heartbreak is not an easy thing to achieve. Like a broken glass, your heart not be the same anymore. It changes you to the person you were before. The length of time for someone to heal from a heartbreak varies from one person to another. Some may last from weeks while others spent years to find themselves whole again. For you to heal your broken heart does not happen overnight and should involve your conscious choice to move forward from the agony of being submerged into mixed emotions of regret, despair and loneliness to overcoming them to attain inner peace and healing.

ACKNOWLEDGE THE PAIN: Start by being aware of your emotions. Cry all you want and find ways to release your feelings until you find relief. It is better to feel the utmost intensity of the pain from heartbreak than make it dwell inside you. There were countless of ways to release your frustrations in good ways like shouting it all out in a place where you are alone. Let yourself have some time to grieve. Feel the pain until it hurts no more.

FOCUS ON YOURSELF: Do your best to give all your efforts in putting yourself first before anything else. You need to take care of who else but you. Have some focus on things that yields self-improvement and would make you feel good like trying a new hobby and exploring new places.

FOCUS ON THE PRESENT: No matter how rough and aching those memories you had in the past, they should all stay in the past. What happened already could not be brought back again. Avoid yourself from thinking about regrets as doing so will turn you into a bitter person. Instead, start again as you wake up in the morning with a positive thought that great things are about come. There were new pages in your life waiting for you to fill and it will all start in your present.

FOCUS ON YOUR HEALTH AND WELLNESS: A healthy body is a pathway into a good well-being. Too much sadness could lead to poor nutritional status as you exhibit no appetite or in the opposite, you succumb into stress eating that could lead to serious health risks. Sleep disturbance is common in people who are heartbroken and it could lead to low mental functioning, poor judgment and less focus. Make an effort to take care of your health. Eat nutritious foods, do your best to have an adequate sleep and regular exercise as doing so helps you release hormones like endorphins, which gives you a positive and happy mood.

DO A SOCIAL MEDIA DETOX: How can you move on if you still keep on stalking the person who broke your heart? I know it is very challenging to do but blocking, unfriending and unfollowing the people who made you hurt will give your mind a break. You have to put in your mind that their existence does not matter in your life anymore and there is no use of looking on their social media profiles and posts as it may give you more longing than letting go. Taking a break from social media in general is also a good idea to cleanse your mind from the toxicities of seeing posts or people that may remind you of your heartbreak.

ACCEPT THE TRUTH: Accept that things won’t be the same anymore. That the person you have loved before won’t be a part of your life from now on. Acceptance is the last stage of grief. After overcoming the grieving process, accepting the reality of your loss frees you from the chains of the painful memories, anguish and guilt. You will then realize that you must continue living and move forward. The truth as they say, will set you free.

DO NOT CLOSE YOUR HEART IN FINDING LOVE AGAIN: You are now in a new journey. Life is full of surprises along the way. Have faith that one day, love will find you when you least expect it. Open yourself to the world, have fun and love will follow.

 

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Heartbreak and Forgiveness

 

“It’s not an easy journey, to get to place where you forgive people. But it is such a powerful place, because it frees you.” – Tyler Perry

To forgive someone who broke your heart is not an easy thing to do. No matter what the grounds like betrayal, rejection or deceit. Being emotionally hurt is a human nature we could not help to undergo. Freeing ourselves from hatred is arduous hence; we should not allow ourselves to be contained by our wounds. Letting unwanted emotions stay in our hearts will block away happiness like living in darkness. A person who cannot forgive is a prisoner of his anger. To genuinely forgive is not something that could be done overnight. A process that involves time and a choice to help yourself along the way.

I have experience being hurt by people I trust and love. It is an inevitable common occurrence in our social relationships as humans. At first, we find it difficult to forgive as the extent of pain they caused shattered us badly. There were times when I never thought that I would forgive those people someday. Time heals. You do not have to force it. One day, the wounds will heal until you realize to be ready to start again by unleashing the troubles in your past.

Do not let the scars of the past turn you into a miserable person. Release the weight of loathing in your heart so you can feel the beauty of life. There were no definite steps on how to forgive. It all depends on you. Here are some of my advices that may guide you.

 FORGIVE YOURSELF: How can you forgive people if you do not forgive yourself first? It should all start within you. To let go, release all that guilt and anguish in your heart. Throw away that heavy emotional baggage you were carrying for so long. Push yourself to move forward and always reflect upon your thoughts. To give forgiveness, healing of one’s own self must be there.

 DO NOT DWELL IN THE PAST: As much as possible, refrain from reminiscing the situation that pained you. No one can bring back what already happened. There is no sense in hanging in those painful memories. Life goes on and only you can write your own story but take with you the lessons it taught you.

DO NOT REGRET:  Disappointments caused by having your heart broken by someone you love makes you regret that you gave all your trust and invest your feelings to that person. In the first place, you never thought that you would be hurt in the end. This would cause you to have a remorse. Instead, think that all situations we had and people we met have significant reasons they play in our lives. Some of them may be there to teach us.

LOOK AT THE GOOD SIDE: Sometimes we consume ourselves with resentment that we only see the bad things a person have done to us. This is a challenging thing to do but trying to look at the good side of that person as well as the things and memories he/she had with us that once made us happy may lessen the hatred we feel. This way, we may come to rationalize their actions, be it intentional or not. Keep in mind that nobody is perfect so if you can, give even the slightest consideration to understand.

 Forgiveness is a long process. Only we could have the decision to give it or just let it be. People who know how to forgive possesses inner peace because they have freedom from the pain of the past. It does not mean that when you forgive, you forget all that happened. In turn, those lessons you had make you wise. You may forgive without talking again to someone who hurt you or reconstruct a broken relationship. It is all about being at peace with yourself.

 

 

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Factors that Cause a Heartbreak

Heartbreak comes in many forms. We feel broken due to some factors we were facing dealing with our emotional stability that could lead us to being devastated in the end. In this modern world of Millennials to Gen Zs, people were taking relationships for granted. There were compromised commitments resulting to misunderstandings between two persons in the relationship. Nowadays, we tend to overlook the deeper meaning of love. Our carelessness and aggressiveness in handling it may give us extreme sadness. Reflection upon things that brought us to this condition may help us avoid having the circumstances next time we fell in love or enter another relationship so that we can handle it wisely.

TRUST ISSUES: To trust a person we need to have faith in every promises and intentions we receive. Without it, there would be no inner peace, worries will eat us until they make our thoughts unhealthy. It will cause us to think of the worst leading to a broken heart. Could love alone survive without trust? How can you have a vision of a good future with someone without trusting Him/Her in the present? Loving someone should come along with constant integrity and communication.

EXPECTATIONS: At times we expect too much, whether we admit or deny it to ourselves. Getting attached to a person makes us expect them to feel the same and losing control of it could lead to intense desperation resulting to disappointments. Before anything else, there must be an effort to control yourself to keep on expecting anything to anyone. The more the expectations, the more pain you have to endure if you fail to meet them.

UNREQUITED LOVE: As I wrote in the beginning, no all love are given back in return. There could be an instance when we fell in love for the person who already belongs to someone else or just don’t feel the same. No matter what, just think that having experienced love is already a blessing. In time, someone will come to complete your life, the person who will give His/Her whole heart to you. There is a right time for everything.

INSECURITY: Nobody is perfect. Being insecure can sometimes trigger unwanted emotions and moods like anxiety for fear that significant others would stop loving us because we feel that we lack something. There is a doubt in ourselves to losing confidence. Too much of this could strain relationships. Self-awareness on our thoughts, knowing our strengths and weaknesses as well as embracing who you are can alleviate insecurity.

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The Beauty in a Heartbreak

 

That was years ago when I was in my bed weeping out of extreme sadness the whole night. I felt so empty of the truth that slapped me so hard. The person I loved the most cannot give me back the same feeling I had. It was like being lost in the middle of nowhere with no sense of direction. Love is truly an amazing feeling hence in reality, the more intense it is, the more risks of having to feel the same intensity of pain in return. Still, life have to keep on going no matter what. The capability to feel different kinds of emotions is what makes us humans unique. To have experienced attraction and intense emotion for another person is a gift. The joy of seeing his/her smile feels like magic. We must put in our minds what reality is teaching us, that not all love felt are requited. Not all love are given back in return.

I believe that broken things are beautiful. Those storms of extreme desperation will subside. There would surely be a rainbow of happiness that will follow in the end. The saying goes “It is better to have loved and lost than to have never love at all”, tells us that experiencing love, whether to lose it or not is a blessing. It shapes us how we see life and appreciate its existence. I understand how hard it is at first but overtime, you will emerge as a stronger person ready to face more of life’s challenges. Diamonds have undergone extreme heat and pressure to form into the hardest minerals of significant value.

In this journey, we call life, not everything is about joy or attaining what we want or fulfilling our desires in an instant. There were times when we should learn to let go of things that are not meant for us. Sometimes have to feel the pain to accept that things do not go our own ways. I hope this blog will help you find the good in what you were going through. This bumpy road in life gives us lessons that we will find out in the right time.

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A Letter to My Heartbroken Self in the Past

 

Dear You,

Seeing you in the mirror with swollen eyes from those nights you can’t help but cry. The agony you were going through is real and I want to give you the warmest hug. Please believe in me when I say that one day you will wake up with the most genuine happiness you will ever feel. You were guilty of your mistakes, of falling in love with the person who could not give you the love you deserve. Please don’t ever think that you are worthless. Life does not always give us what we want but everything happens for a reason. The day will come that it will be revealed to you. Take this moment to love yourself more until serenity will follow.

I can see the depths of your wounds, hence, do not ever give up from walking your journey. In time, all things will make sense. For now, wipe your tears, wash your face and have a sound peaceful sleep. Reserve all your energies on things that makes you fulfilled. Tomorrow is another day. Rest your heart from all the despair and anxiety you are going through, that should be enough. The world will not stop. Possibilities are endless.

Please smile, my dear. You are beautiful. Those hands of yours can do a lot of great things waiting for you to explore. Look at those people around you, they cherish your existence. Trust in me when I say that time will come when all these pains would someday be a memory that taught you to be a better person in the future.

 

Love,

Yourself

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What does heartbreak make you?

 

Every one of us went into a phase where we got our hearts broken. It felt like the end of the world and too much despair dominated our heads as if it will stay forever. Be it a puppy love from adolescent days or a long-term relationship, we could not avoid having the pain of losing someone we love through different reasons and situations. Some may take months to move on and some may linger for years. As long as you have a strong will to move on, how hard the process of coping, believe that in the end, all these will come beautifully. You will wake up someday not feeling the pain anymore and that you transformed into a stronger and better person that you were before. Cry all you want. Do not deprive yourself of expressing all those emotional struggles. Make it sure that in the end, you will stand up with maturity. Keep yourself from being exhausted by your emotions or they will consume you. Focus on the bright side of things. There is a saying that “How can you love others if you do not love yourself first?”

I am not a love expert or a counselor. As a person who felt love and had undergone a series of heartbreaks in the past, here are the things I learned throughout the process. Yes, heartbreak is devastating, hence, on a positive note; it could have a beneficial effect on you as a person not just in your future love life but also in your viewpoint about life in the whole. If handled properly, moving forward from a heartbreak is beautiful. These are the seven things that heartbreak could make you in the process.

 It makes you gain wisdom from your mistakes. Loving the wrong person, being in a situation gone wrong would make you wiser next time you will enter a new relationship. That time, you will learn how to handle things to avoid some mistakes from happening again so are the consequences of your choices. There might be something in your previous relationships that caused it to fail. Those lessons you had will guide you to a more mature and stable relationship in the future.

It makes you emotionally strong. After having a hard blow of the sufferings and sleepless nights of crying in agony, one day you will wake up like nothing had happened and the memories of the past can no longer hurt you. Going through a though time will make you a stronger person that could not be easily shaken and handle your emotions well enough.

It makes you empty to make yourself complete again. Heartbreak is a loss and at times, we feel like life is incomplete with that lost romance. We were blinded that we cannot do anything at all anymore. After you heal all those wounds, the void it left would be filled with fresh and new memories, a better tomorrow and adventures that are waiting for you to enjoy.

It makes you open your eyes to the reality of life. Life is not like in the movies or fairytales as what we were always seeing on television series and movies. Not all couples who love each other live happily ever after in the end. Sometimes, love is not enough to face the realities of life. It is about wise decisions. In our teens, we used to dream about our future first dates or weddings with the person we love and desire but life is more than that as we begin to enter adulthood. There were rough roads ahead for us to overcome.

It makes you independent in your choices. The pain of loss teaches you to be there and handle yourself well. No one could really help you heal but yourself. There should be a motivation to stand up, do something about your goals in life. Please remember that we are the ones who are writing our destiny. Do not let heartbreak destroy you; life has so much more to offer.

It makes you discover more about yourself. Sadness and loneliness are the common emotional effects of heartbreak. Recovery from it must allow you to discover the world around you, especially yourself. Discovery of the things you like, passions, hobbies and goals will make your life meaningful. In addition, there are discoveries of your emotions and attitudes that you can reflect to improve and nurture.

It makes you pave way to meet new people. Being single again will make a way for you to know and meet more people by making friends or exchanging meaningful conversations. Through them, you can acquire new knowledge about everything. Just enjoy socializing. Who knows you will meet someone whom will make your heart happy again. Go on dates, have fun. Life is short to be lonely.

 

 

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Finding Peace in Solitude: Me-Time

Humans are social beings. Aside from our basic physiological needs, we human beings long acceptance and affection. In a fast-paced modern world where Social Media is dominating, our social lives plus the pressure in our jobs to survive may lead to mental and emotional health risks. Increased exposure to these factors may have us acquire toxic effects in our psychological health. Having a breather is a need to refresh our minds and emotions in order to have a good coping and protect our overall wellness.

Solitude is defined as the state of being alone. Some may confuse this to loneliness but it is a choice while loneliness is a deprivation of human affection leading to being sad. After a hard day at work when all that you do is have conversations to different kinds of people and deal with so much pressures, not only your body is exhausted but also your mind. As much as possible you have to take some time for yourself away from social media and stressful connections for a while.

Being alone could help you reflect on things and situations you were handling in your everyday life. It will allow you have a clear viewpoint on how you are doing each day as well as possible solutions on things that are hard and causing you to be anxious.

When you have a “ME-TIME” for yourself, you can be able to control your emotions. May it be too much sadness, anger or joy. Intense emotions could lead to negative effects and may harm us in our judgements to people and situations. An allotted time to breathe could make us calm down our nerves. In that way we could attain the wisdom to act ourselves to what might be the consequences of our actions.

Solitude can bring us inner peace. It could make us achieve calmness and freedom from worries resulting to healthy mindset and emotions. Let us make it a goal to maintain our peace of mind no matter how stressful and toxic our world we live in.

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Fighting the Pandemic: COVID-19 Nurses

It all began in the news that a new strain of Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome virus, COVID-19 identified in Wuhan, China last December 2019. Acquired through small droplets via sneezing and coughing as well as touching contaminated surfaces. For months, the extent of this Infectious Disease turned into a global pandemic as announced by the World Health Organization. The whole world shattered by hundreds of thousands of mortalities and decline to the global economy faced a huge blow in humankind.

Healthcare workers are in the frontline in fighting this Pandemic since then, overwhelmed by increasing number of cases each day. There were new norms, guidelines and changes in the Healthcare Setting is giving an immense amount of adjustments to the Healthcare Personnel. Being one of the nurses assigned in the COVID-19 Unit has been a challenging chapter in our careers. Day after day, we have to learn new guidelines, wear strict Personal Protective Equipment (PPE) for the protection of everyone. There is a compromise in comfortable breathing for wearing an N-95 mask is essential throughout the whole shift. Fear of getting the infection anytime raises anxiety levels never knowing what lies ahead for us. As Nurses with sworn duty in our profession, this dreaded COVID-19 virus could not stop us from standing up in the midst of the challenges. We are here not for the salary or the mainstream praises we receive but because this is our duty for all humanity.

These are the times when we were tested on how we handle our profession. Giving up can be an option yet we will continue fighting not just when this Pandemic would stop but for our lifetimes. Not everyone may feel our struggles yet that feeling of seeing our patient stable, recover to being discharge is fulfilling beyond any awards of achievements. In times when patients were experiencing symptoms, we were the to ease their struggles, hold their hands when they were anxious and afraid as well as smile at them the moment they recover and results come negative.

As one of the nurses battling in Pandemic around, to the nurses who will reach this blog, may you remain strong physically, mentally and emotionally because the world needs us. May we always remember our pledge no matter how great are the hardships we encounter. Our duty is a lifetime of service and honor.

 

 

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[Life Learnings] The Effects of Receiving Something from Someone

They say it is better to give than to receive. True enough, hence receiving a gift even a simple little something is a joy to the heart. It is not about how expensive or huge the thing is but the value and happy memories with it.

Years ago, I was frustrated to receive a teddy bear gift. Yes, it sounds shallow to hear from me that I haven’t received a stuffed bear gift all my life, so awful. When I was a child, my parents used to buy me dolls and art materials until I became an adult then realized that I never had a teddy bear gift all my life. This situation made we wish that my future lover should give me one. Unluckily, I am still single.

Last 2012, my friend Karen gave me a small dark brown bear due to my insistent demand, never would I expect to receive one. Although it is small and I know it is not that super fancy, I know it was given from the heart making it priceless in my eyes. My crush back then looked chubby and tall, looking like one, I texted him for some name suggestions. He jokingly suggested the name “Bogart”. From that day of naming him, I had Bogart as my companion in the remaining months of my stay in the Philippines then also brought him with me here in the Middle East where I have been working for more than three years. He is now inside my Balikbayan box on the way to the Philippines for I will go home in my country in a few months. There were a lot of memories I had with that little stuffed bear. Whenever I go to places, never would I forget to take pictures of him.

My new little bear is named Eden. She is named after my friend who gave her to me.  Weeks ago, I and my friends went into a thrift shop where all the prices of goods were the same. Everything could be bought from cooking wares, clothes, accessories and toys. I saw a cute bunch of small teddy bears in a corner. I then teased my friend, Eden to buy me one as a remembrance since I am going back to the Philippines early next year. After some endearments, she told me to choose one because she already agreed to buy one for me. I felt thrilled as a child. We went back home with my new little creamy white bear in my arms. Sounds childish but I really have this unique regression in teddy bears and now extra happy that I have a new one.

This act of giving something even though simple can make us smile. We will feel a surge of affection to the giver. A small token of appreciation will not only make the receiver know that he is remembered but also make someone’s day bright and could take the sadness away.

Here are the effects of receiving something from someone:

A Sense of Appreciation: Receiving a small Thank You Card with home baked goodies from someone you helped out to make some chores gives a feeling that he appreciates the good deed you have done. To feel appreciated is very rewarding and fulfilling.

Takes your Sadness Away: When you are having a bad day with sad emotions, receiving flowers with a thoughtful note to cheer you up could make you smile, chances are this thoughtful act could lessen if not forget your sorrows away and there are people supporting you in what you are going through.

Open your Mind on Situations: A simple stuffed animal with a letter saying that you are sorry might lighten your resentment or ill-will on someone you are not in good terms with. However, it would still depend on your readiness.

A Feeling that you are loved: When a boy likes a girl, it is indeed pleasant for her to receive some surprises like roses and teddy bears. Sounds common but it is a nice feeling for her to feel showered with love through this kind of effort. Some may be skeptical about receiving material gifts but somehow this is one of the best ways to make someone that he/she is valued.

Receiving a something from someone does not mean that things have a price or there is a requirement to receive something in return. It is not the quality or expensiveness that matters but the thoughts we give with it.

How about you? What is the best gift you have received from someone so far?

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Dealing with Unexpected Love

There were billions of people in the planet. Every day, as we do the activities of our daily living, we see different kinds of persons like those we bump in the train as we go to work, vendors in the sidewalks, and party people in the bar or those souls in the cyberworld aiming to fulfil their thirsty hearts in search for companions or future partners. In every, they say someone will come someday who will capture our hearts, the person whom we will feel that very complex emotion caused by attraction and chemical reactions, could bring us in the state of euphoria and intense pains as well; that thing we call love.

The questions are: Do we have the choice to choose who? Is there a right love for all of us? Could we stop love from happening from the beginning? Indeed, love is mysterious, we will never know when, where or who.  Having a heartbreak is not a joke. It may come into a scenario when we are not prepared. Many stumble, fall into a deep black hole of emptiness or the worse, depression.

First Question: “Do we have the choice to choose who to love?”

My answer to this is a big “NO”.  As a Bisexual, love does have no label. You could say that you were raised into a very philosophic, religious environment with teachings of the ideal and morally right way to love but never could you predict who you are going to be attracted in the future.

In another scenario, we can choose to learn to love somebody but we could not really stop our hearts from feeling that intense emotion for someone. Believe me, not all marriages are perfect. Once you have met your true love, time and situations might separate you apart, but for a lifetime that one person will remain inside you.

Is there an ideal person? As someone who is single, once in our lives we create these hopes of an ideal partner we were praying for every single night. Some pray for a prince charming, which will make them feel like a princess. Others wish for someone compatible with their mental capabilities and passions. As for myself, I always pray for someone who is passionate as me in terms of my hobbies and interests. Like “Lord, bigyan mo naman ako ng partner na mahilig magsulat o yung may alam sa photography. Ok din yung mahilig mag travel, kahit hindi ganun ka-attractive pwede na sa akin basta matalino.”  In reality, love is a feeling we will just feel no matter who the person is. Believe me, even the ugliest person in the world, if that emotional reaction will come, we could never stop it.

Third, the most complicated one: Can we not feel love for a person who is in a relationship or married? They say love is a choice but really? Some of us right now condemn people who choose to have relationship with taken ones. We often judge affairs and other women without looking at their scenarios. Not all of us are the same. Some are so weak enough to run away from love. When you are in love, nothing is right or wrong; sometimes we will do everything, never mind the dangers, the people for the person we love. At times, we have no choice, love came and conquered us.

Second Question: Is there a right love for all of us?

My answer is YES. That so-called “right love” is not someone who checks us 24/7, neither the one who could give us the moon and stars nor the one who could cross the seven seas for us. The right love is the person we feel complete with. He is the person that could make us feel secured, happy and contented without doubts. The person is right when we see ourselves fulfilled by his presence, by that we would not look away no matter what happens and when we do, either not by choice, should we question ourselves “Is this still right?”. Love is right when you see yourself with that person in the future, no one else.

Third Question: Could we stop love from happening in the beginning?

NO. Well, I charge it to experience. No matter how you condition yourself and say “Hindi ako maiinlove. No way.”  It will come to you like a thief in the night, then you will wake up one day, your heart is beating fast and you are lost. No matter how you say to yourself that you are not ready or hard hearted, if it will come, it will.

We never could control love. All we can do is handle it in a way that we won’t let it consume us, change us or make us attached from our selves. Loving someone would bring us happiness and inevitably, heartaches as well. In the end of the day, we have the choice what to do to manage ourselves. Not all love does have happy endings but I believe that verse in 1 Corinthians 13:8 “Love never fails.” We may not end to be together with the one we love with that once in a lifetime person, whom will be I our hearts for a lifetime, but true love won’t ever fail and if it does, it is not love at all.

If ever you are in a situation where you feel broken or being bugged by an unexpected love, just always remember that God put us where we are now because He has a purpose. We may never know it by now, but I do believe someday, in the right time and place, He will. He gave us these people we love for a certain purpose. Heartbreaks are inescapable, but prayers help. Surrendering our hearts and the future to God is the best thing to do. Lately, someone told me “Why does fate give us these people? There is probably a reason.” Being lost and confused are normal, what I have learned today is that you should understand that not all things go in perfect place we want them to be but we could create our own place where things may go well because we value them. These people who came by were blessings, no matter how they came from or who they are. Their status or situations should not hinder us to know and feel the love we have for them. There goes that old saying by Alfred Tennyson “Better to have loved than never have loved at all.”

-faf

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